Friday, August 24, 2018

My stolen copy of the schedule for the first day of the 2020 Democratic National Convention

Yes, this is a parody post, based on an old email chain, which I've updated.

Or maybe I really did steal a copy of the Day 1 schedule of the 2020 Democratic National Convention.
  • Proceedings begin as Colin Kaepernick leads the delegates in taking a knee for the US flag.
  • Pledge of allegiance to the United Nations.
  • Native American blessing given by Sen. Elizabeth Warren.
  • Andrew Cuomo introduces Democrats' 2020 campaign slogan, "America Was Never That Great."
  • A vote on replacing all gender pronouns with "it."
  • A vote on giving illegal aliens the right to vote in all elections.
  • Democratic National Committee chairman Tom Perez introduces Socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, again declaring that she is the "future of our party."
  • Ocasio-Cortez reminds delegates that there will be no need for funerals after "Medicare for All" is the law of the land.
  • First Two Minutes Hate: The delegates recreate the Hillary Clinton campaign's smashing of their Blackberry smartphones.
  • Susan Rice blames the lackluster performance of the Obama economy on the posting of an obscure YouTube video.
  • After a mid-day adjournment, Bill Ayers denounces America as he steps on the US flag.
  • A salute to the Young Democrats of America led by Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, and Bernie Sanders.
  • John Podesta offers tips on how to create an unhackable email password.
  • Chelsea Clinton speaks to the delegates, uttering nothing of consequence.
  • Jimmy Carter and Barack Obama compliment each other on their Iran policies.
  • Mid-afternoon nap for delegates begins as John Kerry addresses them.
  • Second Two Minutes Hate: Robert De Niro leads "Fuck Donald Trump" chant.
  • Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel introduces Democrats' get-tough-on-crime platform plank.
  • Bill Clinton, wearing a pink pussy hat, praises the #MeToo movement.
  • Lifetime fundraising achievement award presented to Harvey Weinstein.
  • Proceedings end as Antifa radicals burn the US flag.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

the sad thing is it is not a joke.this is how these people think.