"Dumbass white boy from Wisconsin" arrested after offering Chicago cop $100,000 bribe

Christopher Parker of Eau Claire, Wisconsin drove to a rough neighborhood on Chicago's South Side two days ago in a car with one headlight. He had already made a name for himself for violating probation in the Badger State, but he hungered for more.

When the cops pulled him over, he couldn't provide a driver's licesne, but they noticed an open can of beer. And they kept looking.

From the Chicago Tribune:

When Parker stood up, the office saw a .380-caliber caliber Smith & Wesson handgun-- loaded with seven rounds -- on the driver's seat, police said.

Officers searched Parker and the car and found an ammunition clip with 6 rounds, a small bag of marijuana and $3,241 in cash that was rolled up with rubber bands, according to the police report.

"I am a dumbass white boy from Wisconsin," Parker told the office, according to the report. "I watch Gangland, and I came to the South Side of Chicago to act like a big baller. I borrowed a gun from a friend for protection, and I was scared to be driving down here. I'm on vacation with my family and I have the gun because my girlfriend is scared, too."

Parker then promised to have his girlfriend bring the officer $100,000. "I know that's more than your salary," he said, according to police.

Gangland is a History Channel program about urban street gangs. A big baller is a powerful drug dealer.