Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Is Hillary's cackle proof she is a robot?



Is Hillary Rodham Clinton a robot?

In the posthumously-released Isaac Asimov novel, Forward the Foundation, First Minister to the Emperor Eto Demerzel is forced to confront the ludicrous accusation that he's a robot. Androids by this time in future-history have gone the way of the telegraph machine. But not quite--Dermezel really is a robot, and he needs to keep it a secret.

A demagogue decides to run propaganda videos with the tagline, "I don't want no robot running the empire."

This presents a problem for the only two people who are aware of Dermezel's real identity.

Since they're certain a reporter will ask Dermezel--who, because of the Law of Robotics, is forbidden to lie to humans, if he is a robot--they decide to instruct Dermezel to laugh uproariously when that question is asked. But he's a robot, and laughs, well robotically.

They coach Dermezel, and with a twinkle of lubriating oil in the eye added for effect, Dermezel has his act down. And when the inevitable question is asked, he enthusiastically laughs, and the accusation is forgotten.

Which brings us to Hillary Rodham Clinton's "cackle laugh," which made another unwelcome intrusion onto the television airwaves tonight during her debate with Barack Obama.

Her laugh is of course, robotic.

Is Hillary Rodham Clinton a robot? If she answers with that cackle, then we know for sure. But she needs to keep practicing, like Dermezel did, to appear genuine, and to defeat Obama.

But I don't want no robot running the country.

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