Report: Nicole Kidman likely to get annulment of Cruise wedding, marry in church

I usually don't do celebrity stuff, unless it has some political overtones. But I'm making an exception. Considering the world's most famous Scientologist, Tom Cruise, is involved, I have to post on it.

Disclosure notice: I'm not a Scientologist.

Nicole Kidman has been dating country music singer Keith Urban for a while, and there are rumors that the two are engaged, as News.com.au reports.

It is believed Kidman has been told it was likely she would be granted an annulment of her marriage to Cruise, a Scientologist, because it did not conform to the requirements of the church.

Kidman's family in Australia is pushing hard for a church wedding.

Catholics who divorce are not allowed to remarry. An annulment, as Senator John Kerry knows, renders a former marriage into something that never happened at all.

I'm not sure Scientologists can divorce, but there are differences between Scientology and Catholicism.

Author Dan Flynn came across a pamphlet about Xenu, a Scientology figure from 75 million years ago. As it reads:

Who is Xenu?

I'm going to tell you a story. Are you sitting comfortably? Right, then I'll begin.

Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.

Now Xenu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were overpopulated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so he had a plan.

Xenu took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists he called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers).

These DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralysed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xenu then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed.

So when Tom Cruise jumps all over Oprah's couch, in relation to this stuff, he's not really acting that strange.

Nicole traded up from Cruise, that's for sure.

Technorati tags: Tom Cruise Scientology Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Australia Xenu